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DiabeticallyYours

Living life as a Type 1 Diabetic.

Archive for the tag “diabeticallyyours”

So close! Yet… Well, still so close!

Did I eat subway today? YUP. That means a lost eliminated more weight! Yay!

And I reached a goal today; to eliminate 5% of my body weight. And I did it! Another Yay! I’m still not under two hundred though, but I’m really close to it. Next week will be the moment, I know it.

Something else happened today; as I was at my meeting, I was talking to my coach and she offered me a part time job with them! Granted, I’ll just be at the reception, but it’s really cool to have been offered that. Twice a week, a little bit of money in our pockets to be able to pay some of our debts, I was really happy that -she- approached -me- for that job.

Other than that, I’ve started a new vlog channel!

YAY!

So here’s my first video, which is a pre-pilot. Is that a thing? Can it be a thing?

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Another one (point 8) bites the dust!

Oh wednesdays. You come so quickly. It’s like I have one weight-in and, no workouts later, you’re there again. Despite not working out (much… I mean I did, but not as good as I should’ve) and my blood sugar acting up because it’s that time of the month again (curse you hormones!) I still managed to eliminate close to 2 pounds. 1.8, to be exact. So wait a minute… I’m less than two pounds away from being in ONEderland. Under 200 lbs. I have not been under two hundred pounds since I was pregnant with my son. Next week, I will reach my 5% gone. 5% of bad ‘me’, gone!

YES.

Oh, I am celebrating by eating a Subway sandwich, of course!

So, more weight, gone. Not lost, gone.

As I was listening to my coach today, she was explaining that most of our achievements, we do because we trust we can do them. It’s all a matter of perception. There’s a reason we tell ourselves “I can do this” and then achieve what we wanted. We tell our brain that we can. We program it to surpass our expectations.

When we say “I’ve lost 10 pounds”, it’s as if we tell ourselves, our brains, “I’ve lost my car keys”. We (our brain/subconscious) think constantly “So where did I put them? Where did I leave them last?” and we eventually see it. We wake up in the middle of the night going “ah-HA! I can almost touch them, I know where they are.” because our brain is constantly looking for that answer. So if we tell ourselves “I’ve lost 10 pounds”, will our subconscious look for them? Will we re-gain them? Because we didn’t eliminate them, we lost them.

I once was lost, but now I’m found. Back with the 10 pounds I was looking for.

Does that make sense? Do you think it’s something you could use in your daily vocabulary? To “eliminate”?

In 2013, I want to be healthy.

In 2013, I will be healthy.

See what I did there? Perception. Programming our brains to think differently. Positively. As if we’ve already won.

It’s interesting, so I’ve decided to implement this as of today. But here’s the thing. I’m stepping it up with saying “In 2013, I am a better mom.

To be a better mom, I need to make sure my son eats healthily. I need to make sure he moves a lot. I need to make sure I share with him every little thing. I need to make sure he knows I’m the best mom I can be. This also means I’ve got to stay on track with diabetes. Manage it well. Make my nurse/endocrinologist proud. Live longer.

No being lazy. More playtime. Sure, a little fast food doesn’t hurt (Unless you’re exceptionally strict on yourself) so the occasional McD’s will be on the menu, but not more than once a month.

Make sure he is happy, healthy, properly disciplined, etc. That means more work for me, but will be so worth it.

So. In 2013, I am a better mom.

What are you, in 2013?

All in due time; a small post for small changes

You know what I’ve been waiting to do but haven’t yet? A Vlog. About weight loss. I’m sure It’d be much more motivational to me; it would help me cope with my goals a little better. Like the kick in the butt you sometimes need to achieve your goals. The only problem is… Well, there is no problem. The problem is me. I have the proper camera, I have the right equipment to do it and, hell, I have plenty of imagination to give. But, like most things in the past, I keep pushing it to ‘tomorrow’.

“I should vacuum the house. Bah, tomorrow.”

“I should make that recipe! Meh, tomorrow…”

It’s really annoying. Why is it that for some things I have enough motivation for hundreds and when it comes to other productive things, it scales right back down to zero? It’s something I have to figure out and it most definitely is something I need to change. Starting yesterday.

So, weight loss wise, I know I could do better. But the more I lose, the less insulin I need, and so the more hypoglycemias I have. What do I do when that happens? Drink juice. 100 calories a pop plus a few almonds. Going straight back to my thighs. I know I shouldn’t let these things get to me because I’ve lost some weight so far, but still, it’s frustrating. Do all that work for what seems like nothing. Spend calories, drink ’em right back. Stupid pancreas! Why did you have to die! It’s making fat girls like me struggle even more and be discouraged much more easily.

Okay. Plan B. Stop being discouraged. You can do this. Your weight loss coach told you; five pounds in a month is a good thirty in just half a year. Which is true, when seen that way, but still frustrating when you see people next to you drop double what you did in the same amount of time.

Okay. Plan C. Stop being discouraged and stay positive.

Or maybe plan D. Stop being discouraged, stay positive, and never give up.

There’s the whole alphabet to go, afterall.

Why I lied to my weight loss coach.

I rarely lie. Very rarely. The reason is simple; I’m a lousy liar and get trampled in the lies. I like being truthful anyways; it’s less trouble and I feel much better about myself. I do lie on occasion though, random little white lies everyone makes. “Hey, how are you doing?” to which I would reply “I’m fine!” when I’m not. You know, the usual little white lies we so often do on a regular basis. Just so we don’t annoy anyone or don’t hurt their feelings. So why did I lie to my weight loss coach? I had to ask myself that question for a while before I found the right answer.

No one wants to feel shame. No one wants to accept that we fail and everyone wants to give proper explanation to everyone to justify the way they look, talk, eat, etc… And why do we? Is society that bad that we want to protect our image to the point of resembling the “normal” standards? Let me explain…

I’ve been starting this weight loss journey (Lost 2 lbs so far… Definitely not a big loss, but it’s a loss!) to be healthy, to stay alive, to be there for my son. I hate the way I look, so of course that’s another reason. As I was talking with my coach, she wanted explanations regarding my type 1 diabetes. She knew what type 2 was but had never met someone with type 1. Granted, type 1 diabetics only represent about 5% of all diabetics. It’s a much different disease and it’s hard to make people understand. It should be carrying a whole different name as it is. And through all these years, I’ve had to constantly explain to people what Type 1 diabetes was; show them that it’s not at all like type 2s, and that before it being called type 1 diabetes, it was called (And still is to this day) juvenile diabetes because most diabetics would be diagnosed under the age of 10. So then, why did I become diabetic at age 24? Type 1 diabetes is an auto-immune disease and it attacks the beta cells in your pancreas, destroying them and taking away your ability to produce insulin. Simple as that. But not so simple when you don’t know the disease and really not simple when people question your age and the disease.

So, I lied. I didn’t want to explain how it got there, why it chose me, give statistics and whatnot, but most of all, I didn’t want to battle and explain that it wasn’t because I’m fat. Most type 2 diabetics become diabetics because of an unhealthy lifestyle and most will be overweight on diagnosis. I lied because I didn’t want to explain the fact that even though I’m overweight, it wasn’t the cause of my disease. When I was diagnosed, I wasn’t overweight to start with. But that’s, again, more explanations on explanations and I’m just tired of having to explain all the time. So instead I chose to lie. I told her I had been diabetic since the age of 4. By saying that, I skipped the whole questionnaire process and simply had to explain the way my insulin pump worked. And I felt so bad. And I still do.

Why do we lie? To save time? To validate the way we feel and look? It makes no sense to me. But one thing I know is that whenever I lie, even if the lie is so tiny it wouldn’t hurt anyone, I feel horrible for days. A good quality, but also a bad one, as remorse is amplified ten times worth.

Do you lie to justify the way you look? Do you lie to save explaining things?

I have. And it’s bugging the creeps out of me.

New beginnings… Again.

Huh. Where do I start?

Well, I should start by thanking Moments of Wonderful for voting this blog  post “Best Post by a Type 1” for the year 2012! It’s really nice to know that people are reading your words and acknowledging them for what they are and taking the time to stop and read them, in the first place. What comes through from the heart is what I think is most popular, for any kind of blog. True words will always reach your readers; that’s one thing I learned. So thank you, for reading me. Even though I have put this blog on the shelf for a bit and let it gather dust, now’s the time for me to stay focused, once again. But this time, permanently. No more shrugging, no more excuses.

I’ve had a little health scare before the holidays and it made me realize that I’ve put aside my well being much too often for different reasons. It’s time I take action. It’s time I stay committed, that I make this change for not only me, but my son, my husband, my family. I need this. I want it. Very badly.

I’ll soon have Vlogs that I will add to my posts. Sometimes, a video can reach your audience better than words, too.

So you must’ve guessed that I have not lost the weight I wanted to lose last year. I actually regained most of it. Urgh. Talk about a let downer. Again, I’m not going to make excuses. Despite the time I have to spend in front of the computer, despite my cravings, the binging… I could have done something much better about it. But I didn’t. And yes, I do regret it, but now’s not the time to dwell on negative things. I need to look forward. To see myself where the goal is. To enjoy every little victories and every little failures as well. Never to dwell on those, though.

Starting tomorrow, there will be a new me.

Regular activities, several glucose tests per day, better monitoring of my diabetes, better lifestyle, a whole lot of changes.

And I will stick to it.

I promise.

 

 

The iBGStar in a diabetes congress!

Yesterday I got an amazing e-mail from Weber Shandwick, on behalf of the global Sanofi Diabetes division’s team for the iBGStar meter! And guess what? They liked the review I’ve done and want to show snippets from it during this year’s European diabetes congress by Sanofi!

I’m so very excited and deeply honored that they even saw my video to start with, let alone liked it! I’ll keep you updated on more things to come with my future projects concerning diabetes stuff!

 

Crazy busy, crazy BG.

OH dear gods.

Hi! It’s me again! I’m… Back! Somehow! It’s been one crazy ride through the gaming community on my part.

All this started with me starting a blog about a game I really love, Guild Wars 2. It’s actually a fan site and, after ArenaNet promoted it on their Facebook page, it boomed. I got really busy managing this community and, well, I was in the process of moving, too! So, creating a new community, moving to a new city, packing, unpacking, then new plans about Chronicles of Tyria (The community) with a brand new podcast, contests, holy gee I’m extremely busy. Being with Aaden, alone at home (My husband got another contract in another province!) I’m managing a community, a podcast, a toddler, a house and, most importantly, diabetes.

How hard is it to manage diabetes when you’ve got crazy events going on? Well, I’m really not good at it, to be honest. I need to setup a routine. I need to start working out again. (Oh yeah, don’t get me started on my weight loss journey, because that went down the Drain!) Good news is; Aaden is starting daycare at the end of August. So I’ll be able to work during the day on the community (Right now I ‘work’ until 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning and during Aaden’s naps) and I’ll get some more sleep.

The upside of working so hard is that the community is blooming. We’ve hit more than 80 subscribers in 2 weeks for our podcast, more than 2.5k views! Super stoked about it!

Downside; I’m not testing my BG as often as I could. Sometimes I end up having hypos during the podcast recordings, so I have to set my mic on mute and drink a juice box. Not the best diabetes management. Sometimes I test before meals and I’m at 15. What was that about? Oh, right… I didn’t test before breakfast because I was answering emails, keeping  up with Facebook and twitter, scheduling meet ups… And the list goes on.

Also, I’d like to point out something to people who say that “Being a stay at home mom give you all the time in the world to do everything you need to do”.

Having a baby/toddler/kid at home is like being at work. But work lasts around, oh, ALL DAY, you get no break and you have to cook meals for your boss on top of it. It’s all fun and games when we go to the park, when we cuddle after we played for a while, but you’re always busy non the less. You pick up toys; constantly. You do groceries but really, you have to hurry up so you can get home before lunch, prepare lunch, undo bags, feed your kid, put him to bed for his nap and then, you get to sit down for about 15 minutes. Afterwhich you need to do the dishes, clean whatever mess you left in the kitchen and all the food your son threw on the ground because it looked like the best thing to do at the time… And then, you prepare things for diner and work a little if you can.

I’m not sure I want to list all the things you need to do, but having to manage diabetes on TOP of it all, I find extremely difficult.  Sometimes I don’t test before bed anymore. I’m so extremely tired that I flop in bed, sometimes still dressed, just to get up in the morning and since, lather, repeat.

Here’s a little look see at my very bad diabetes management. Don’t be scared!

Courtesy of my super duper iBGStar which is neglected!

 

When I went to see my endo last april… She said my control was excellent. I wonder how disappointed she would be right now.

And somehow, I wish more people would understand what it feels like to live with diabetes. Maybe they would give me a break sometimes!

I will be updating my blog more often, that’s for sure. I won’t be rambling much on the community, but more about diabetes and about being a mom, you know, things I used to be blogging about Haha!

#DBlogWeek – Find a friend

“Think about the d-blogs you read that you think we may not know about and introduce us to one that you love!!”

When I started this blog, I didn’t think I would make new friends. No, not a face to face, let’s go for coffee friend, but more of an Online relationship, just like the one I had at first with my husband. (Of course, much less romantic!) The definition of “friend” is the same as before, but the bonds we now share can be created within a second, from miles away and across the globe. And though I was writing just to “vent” and “inform” about Type 1 diabetes, I couldn’t help but notice that more people started reading my post, but most of all, commenting! I felt new bonds forming, and sometimes talking about other things than Diabetes right on my blog. And once, I received an e-mail by someone who was concerned about me. And even though we did not “know” each other, this blogger had taken the time to send a private e-mail to me.

Scott E, from Rolling in the D, was a new follower of mine (Well, as new as it can get! My blog itself was rather new, too…) and I had followed his blog just recently. One night, something stressful happened; I was out of insulin and only 5 hours or so remained in my pump. Meaning that I would be several hours without insulin . Read about it here, and the follow through here. It was back in March, so no need to scroll your life endlessly, just click the links! (As you can guess, I’m still alive, so everything went fine after all!)

I often think about Scott E’s e-mail. It’s a reminder that even though you might not “know” someone, you can still care about them. But the fact that we share a common bond, Type 1 diabetes, makes it even more personal.

I received his e-mail the next morning because when he had sent it, I was in bed, reading The Hunger Games. Would I have known, it would have been super helpful, too. He suggested ways to help me maintain a few more drops of insulin to last me until I get to the pharmacy, he expressed his deep concern towards another Type 1 and even though I was fine, (Woke up with a really good BG) I kept thinking; what if? What if I wasn’t fine, and something really bad would have happened? What if I didn’t post after this; would everyone think I was dead? Would it have reached my D-bloggers community? Would Scott E feel helpless and wished he had sent this e-mail sooner?

Okay, whoa! This is getting super depressive! And it’s not my intention. My intention is for me to show you that friendship you make online, especially here in the D community, is strong. And Scott’s blog is a very good read with every posts he does. Even his Wordless Wednesdays! And I highly recommend you follow him, go read his blog. It’s always interesting and very well written! He is not fake and truly cares about the people in the D community.

Scott E, Thanks for being a friend!

—-

Turns out that Scott E is also doing the #DBlogWeek and posted about me and the exact same thing that happened! What are the odds! Well, it just confirms that his friendship is true, and another reason why you should believe me when I say that he’s a good person and an awesome DBlogger! So follow him! You’ll see I’m no liar 😀

iBGStar Review

I’ve finally received my iBGStar from Sanofi Aventis! I say finally because Canada post -again- did not deliver to my door and instead sent it to the post office. I blame this on a lazy postman.

I was very excited to get it, so much that I’ve basically let aside my chores for the day. No store visit for this lady today! (Bananas will have to wait, Aaden… Sorry!)

I’ve made a review video about it which I will integrate into this post at the bottom of it. So if you don’t feel like reading, go watch the video!

First, while the animations are purely decorative and entertaining, I love seeing my iPhone telling me to put blood on the test strip and make a futuristic animation of my blood going into the device and being tested. Super cool! (I bet this will even make my non-diabetic friends jealous and they most likely will want to try it out too just for the heck of it!) It’s easy to set up; even though I read the instructions to make sure I didn’t do anything wrong, it would have been easy to just connect the iBGStar, as it was already charged, and start testing right away. I was high, I knew this, but I didn’t care about spoiling my device with my super sugary blood, so I tested right away, along with my old OneTouch meter, to see if the readings matched. And they did, so everything was set to go!

Here are some positive points about the iBGStar:

  • Small; about 1/6th of the size of your iPhone or iPod;
  • Free app; just download it straight to your iPhone or iPod;
  • Track your BG on charts; up to 90 days of tracking on one single chart, easy for your endo to read;
  • Statistics e-mail friendly; Your endo needs some results on charts? One single press of a button and it’s right on his desk(top);
  • Built-in user guide; no more downloads from websites after losing your user guide;
  • Syncs readings to your iPhone when connected if you have made a reading while disconnected;
  • Goes where your iPhone or iPod goes;
  • Charges alone or with your iPod and iPhone. Just connect to the wall or into your iPhone or iPod and your iBGStar charges!

And for some negatives:

  • iPhone and iPod battery vampirism; the iBGStar loves your device’s energy! Sucks it right out to charge itself, unless your device is on hibernating mode;
  • No customizable backgrounds; you have the choice of 6 pre made backgrounds to chose from.

So far, so good! I can’t see anything else that is a negative. So that was a small review, yes, but I’m sure I will have much more to say about the iBGStar in the next coming weeks as I get accustomed to my new toy.

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The difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes.

Recently, I’ve been reminded that even though I am a type 1 diabetic, my upstairs neighbour (a type 2 diabetic) has a different treatment than I have. Before I was diabetic, I would not know the difference, heck, I thought that having diabetes meant not eating sugar or else you get sick, type of thing. People who are not surrounded by diabetics or are not diabetics themselves usually have a poor education about the disease and the different types. So I thought I would give a definition of the difference and a little experience of mine from recent things that happened to me.

As per medicalnewstoday.com:

Type 1 Diabetes

In Type 1 Diabetes, the person’s own body has destroyed the insulin-producing beta cells in the pancreas. When your own body destroys good stuff in your body it has what is called anautoimmune disease. Diabetes Type 1 is known as an autoimmune disease. 

Quite simply – a person with Diabetes Type 1 does not produce insulin. In the majority of cases this type of diabetes appears before the patient is 40 years old. That is why this type of diabetes is also known as Juvenile Diabetes or Childhood Diabetes. Diabetes Type 1 onset can appear after the age of 40, but it is extremely rare. About 15 per cent of all diabetes patients have Type 1. 

People with Type 1 have to take insulin regularly in order to stay alive. 

Diabetes Type 1 is not preventable, it is in no way the result of a person’s lifestyle. Whether a person is fat, thin, fit or unfit, makes no difference to his or her risk of developing Type 1. In the case of Diabetes Type 2, much of its onset is the result of bodyweight, fitness and lifestyle. The vast majority of people who develop Type 1 are not overweight, and are otherwise healthy during onset. You cannot reverse or prevent Type 1 by doing lots of exercise or eating carefully. Quite simply, the Diabetes Type 1 patient has lost his/her beta cells. The beta cells are in the pancreas; they produce insulin.

Type 2 diabetes:

Person with Diabetes Type 2 has one of two problems, and sometimes both:

1. Not enough insulin is being produced.

2. The insulin is not working properly – this is known as  insulin resistance

The vast majority of patients who develop Type 2 did so because they were overweight and unfit, and had been overweight and unfit for some time. This type of diabetes tends to appear later on in life. However, there have been more and more cases of people in their 20s developing Type 2, but it is still relatively uncommon. 

Approximately 85% of all diabetes patients have Type 2. 

Recently, as some of you know, I’ve subscribed to Weight Watchers. As I’m part of a diabetes forum, I’ve asked them if they knew or know anyone who is diabetic and have any stories to share. I was surprised to realize that 90% of all comments were negative for all sorts of reason, but mostly because WW now counts fruits as 0 points. I was wondering how that was a problem until I realized that out of every replies, only 1 type1 diabetic had answered me. The rest were all type 2. Most of type 2 control their diabetes with medications and by watching what they eat, meaning as little sugars as they can get. Fruits have sugar. Good sugars, but sugar non the less. Or as we diabetics call them, carbs. The more you eat them, the more sugar you have in your blood stream.

That being said, as a type 1 diabetic wearing an insulin pump, if I want an apple, I will eat an apple. I log in 15g of carbs into my pump and she (Yes, my pump is female!) gives me the necessary amount of insulin to cover those carbs. Just as a regular pancreas would. But most type 2 diabetics don’t regulate their blood sugar with insulin. It is with medications, so they cannot eat fruit, or any other things that contain carbs, as they want.

It’s weird, I’ve been diabetic for 6 years, and it just dawned on me that I may have it easy. Well, easier, than a type 2.

What do you think? Am I just thinking this or is it fact?

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