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DiabeticallyYours

Living life as a Type 1 Diabetic.

Archive for the tag “children”

Another one (point 8) bites the dust!

Oh wednesdays. You come so quickly. It’s like I have one weight-in and, no workouts later, you’re there again. Despite not working out (much… I mean I did, but not as good as I should’ve) and my blood sugar acting up because it’s that time of the month again (curse you hormones!) I still managed to eliminate close to 2 pounds. 1.8, to be exact. So wait a minute… I’m less than two pounds away from being in ONEderland. Under 200 lbs. I have not been under two hundred pounds since I was pregnant with my son. Next week, I will reach my 5% gone. 5% of bad ‘me’, gone!

YES.

Oh, I am celebrating by eating a Subway sandwich, of course!

So, more weight, gone. Not lost, gone.

As I was listening to my coach today, she was explaining that most of our achievements, we do because we trust we can do them. It’s all a matter of perception. There’s a reason we tell ourselves “I can do this” and then achieve what we wanted. We tell our brain that we can. We program it to surpass our expectations.

When we say “I’ve lost 10 pounds”, it’s as if we tell ourselves, our brains, “I’ve lost my car keys”. We (our brain/subconscious) think constantly “So where did I put them? Where did I leave them last?” and we eventually see it. We wake up in the middle of the night going “ah-HA! I can almost touch them, I know where they are.” because our brain is constantly looking for that answer. So if we tell ourselves “I’ve lost 10 pounds”, will our subconscious look for them? Will we re-gain them? Because we didn’t eliminate them, we lost them.

I once was lost, but now I’m found. Back with the 10 pounds I was looking for.

Does that make sense? Do you think it’s something you could use in your daily vocabulary? To “eliminate”?

In 2013, I want to be healthy.

In 2013, I will be healthy.

See what I did there? Perception. Programming our brains to think differently. Positively. As if we’ve already won.

It’s interesting, so I’ve decided to implement this as of today. But here’s the thing. I’m stepping it up with saying “In 2013, I am a better mom.

To be a better mom, I need to make sure my son eats healthily. I need to make sure he moves a lot. I need to make sure I share with him every little thing. I need to make sure he knows I’m the best mom I can be. This also means I’ve got to stay on track with diabetes. Manage it well. Make my nurse/endocrinologist proud. Live longer.

No being lazy. More playtime. Sure, a little fast food doesn’t hurt (Unless you’re exceptionally strict on yourself) so the occasional McD’s will be on the menu, but not more than once a month.

Make sure he is happy, healthy, properly disciplined, etc. That means more work for me, but will be so worth it.

So. In 2013, I am a better mom.

What are you, in 2013?

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The power of an Aquarium.

When you have kids, you know rechargeable batteries are a necessity in your life. If you don’t have kids, find wisdom in my words.

My son is 15 months old. Old enough to sleep though the night. Unless something’s wrong, Aaden hardly ever needs any comfort from me if ever he wakes up in the middle of the night. He’s able to go back to sleep on his own, and mommy stays in bed, going back to sleep. Oh, I -do- wake up when he does, I think it’s mommy instincts. But I don’t get out of bed unless I have to. Sleep is precious, especially for diabetics. But that’s another topic. Right now, I want to teach you talk to you about the importance of having recharged batteries at all times.

See, my son has this wonderful aquarium in his crib that helps him fall asleep and with which he plays at night if ever he wakes up, and eventually falls back asleep. But around midnight, the batteries started to fail us. And no more were they. And it takes 4 size “C” batteries to make this thing work, so they are not rechargeable quickly. It takes about 5 to 6  hours to have a full charge. And so last night, I went from changing his diaper, to rocking him, to soothing him, to giving him a bottle, to sleep on the couch with him so not to disturb my husband, to go to bed with him because it was -not- comfortable on the couch… I even tried putting on the TV, but mister Aaden was wide awake. Maybe because it was 2:30am by that time. Then he wanted to play.

He finally fell asleep around 3:30am, after I put his playlist on my iPod and let it play in his room. Thank you Wonder Pets and Backyardigans.

If I had batteries charged, none of that would have happened. I would have stayed in bed, he would have played with his aquarium, and we both would have fallen asleep without a fuss.

It’s not been long since I stopped feeding him at night, when he was only a tiny little thing, and I had to get up every 2 to 3 hours to feed him. I was tired then, but this morning is another kind of tired. You forget so quickly those sleepless nights with an infant, and get used so quickly to sleeping through the night, that every minute of sleep is appreciated. And sometimes, taken for granted.

So, moral of the story is; keep charged batteries at all times. You might get to sleep an extra four hours.

 

Tiny post, big impact.

What’s YOUR reason?

 

Children’s mighty strength, parent’s broken heart.

When I went for blood tests last friday, the hospital was jammed pack. Mostly with old people and pregnant women as usual. I don’t stay very long or wait for my name to be called because of type 1 diabetes. When I am fasting for 12 hours, I get the privilege of cutting through the line and have my blood drawn as quickly as possible. I do get mean looks though. “Why is she going through? Isn’t she going to pick a number? They let her in and I’ve been waiting for 30 minutes!” I know that’s what they are thinking because if I wasn’t type 1 diabetic and know about my condition, I would probably think the same if I would see someone “healthy” cutting through the line.

“Sorry, my pancreas is busted. For life. I get priority.”

Sometimes, there’s a line and I need to wait behind other people while we wait, and I remember one time, clearly. While my mother was still alive, she would go with me every single time. I was old enough to drive and go by myself, but she would insist on driving me and be by my side. And one time as we were waiting in line, there were people talking in front of us saying how “Blood tests every two weeks is soooo much stress” and my mother would say something along the lines of “Well my daughter has at least 5 injections per day. For life.” The people would look at me and turn around, their conversations cut dry. Of course, my mother didn’t want to insult them, or even make it awkward for me to stand there, all eyes on me, wondering why I had to use needles 5 times a day.

And I remember my diagnosis, my mother crying next to me, seeing her as white as snow when they had to draw blood from me for several tests. No, not tiny vials, big jars. I had never seen this much blood drawn from a single person in my life, and while I was fascinated that I could live without that much blood loss, my mother would wait outside my hospital room and cry, comforted by my newly diagnosed with Crohne’s disease roommate’s mother. And I would tell her not to cry, that I was lucky to have been diagnosed on time (With a BG of 42 mmol… or 756mg) and that I would live. You have to know that I lost a sister when I was 17 and so my mother was having a mental break down. Would she lose another child? Would she become childless and go insane?

Now that I am a mother, I know exactly what she was feeling.

So back to the blood tests. I was sitting down, waiting for the nurse to come to me and do her magic, when a mother walks in with what looked like a no more than 2 years old little girl, and about 5 years old little boy. They both look fine, so I assume the woman didn’t have any babysitter and had to get blood tests done. But then she tells the little boy to sit on the chair. And he looks scared. Not petrified, but scared enough that his face goes white really quickly, but he still manages to keep his cool. Then the mother asks him if he wants his little sister sitting next to him, “to help” she says. The mother looks as stressed as she can, but tries to keep cool for her children.

My nurse comes, I extend my arm, she does her magic, but my eyes are on the little boy.

A nurse goes to him and explains the purpose of the instruments she’s using. He knows, I can tell. He’s been there before. And while I’m thinking to myself “It doesn’t hurt, it just pinches a little” I still remember how I felt seeing a big needle and my own blood escaping my body. So my heart goes for him and I feel my eyes fill up with water because I am now imagining my son sitting in that chair.

The little boy starts to cry as the needle goes in and all I want to do is go over there and hug him tightly and tell his sister, his two years old sister, that she’s very brave to want to help her big brother. And I want to hug the mother and tell her she’s strong and that everything is going to be alright.

I hear the nurse tell the little boy “It’s okay to cry sweety, don’t be ashamed, when we’re hurt or scared, we cry, it’s totally normal.” And while she’s drawing blood from him, she’s talking to him telling him that he is strong, that he’s lucky to have a little sister that loves him so much, she helps him.

My blood tests are done, I get up, grab my backpack, put on my sweater, give one last look of empathy to the little boy and walk out the hospital. I don’t know if he was diabetic or if the blood tests were meant for something else, but now tears are falling down my cheeks because I am SO glad it wasn’t my son sitting in that chair.

And a father walks towards me, talking to his little boy, saying “You’re not gonna cry, right? Please promise me you won’t cry.” And my empathy is gone, in an instant, as they come by me and past. I hear the little boy say “I promise.” But I can feel the fear in his voice.

Children cry, it’s totally normal. But as the little boy cried, I felt the mother was even stronger than anyone in the room. And probably even stronger than the father who walked past me.

Weight loss: weight-in #2

What a week! Actually, it’s been pretty boring for the most part, non-dabetic wise; rain, cold, no walks outside unless it’s to go to the car and drive to the grocery store. I think it’s the only outings I’ve done with my son and it showed! He got back at me almost all week, Mr. Grumpy face. Well, the fact that four, yes FOUR teeth are coming out is making him extra grumpy, so it doesn’t help. But no park trip, no walks outside, just plain old inside watching Baby TV when we’re not playing games or I’m not doing house chores or playing Zumba.

Diabetic wise, my body decided to step up and kick my butt. I had to put my basal rate at 75% basically all week and I blame that one two things; weight loss and physical activities. I’m moving. A whole lot than I was before I started this weight loss journey. When I sit on the couch, I remind myself “Isn’t there anything else to do that would require me to actually move?” and then there’s something. There is -always- something to do. Dishes, vacuuming, cleaning, playing with my son, you name it. So I was low more often than I was high. Look see for yourself!

See all the red dots? Those are lows from this week. Eek!

So for all the calories I would spend, I would eat back a lot. Orange juice, followed by bananas or nuts.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

And this is how I felt for most of the week...

I wasn’t expecting much change in my weight. I mean, my pants have become slightly looser, but I blamed that on wearing them like three times in a row and them becoming stretched. Although when I looked in the mirror, my “muffin top” looks more like a “bread top”. Love handles that are asking for still too much love. So this morning, I hopped on the scale. And then I remembered; yesterday was a bad day before a weight-in! Went to my uncle’s, ate lasagna, a Tiramisu, drank a glass of wine and had a scoop of maple ice cream… Yup, I busted my Weight Watcher’s points and went into those cheat points. I should have weighted myself beforehand, but oh well. Let’s see…

So as I stepped on the scale, thinking about my week, the orange juice at 90 calories a glass, had about 15 to 20 of those for sure… My night before, where all the good foods crashed in my system… But took in account all the Zumba I’ve danced, the soccer I played with my son, the cleaning I’ve done… And I stared at the scale at what seemed like an eternity before it showed me the numbers.

206.4 Lbs.

Two hundred and six (point four). From last week, I have made it to my goal of losing 5 lbs once again! I’ve lost five pounds! So that means that I’ve lost 10 lbs since the beginning of my weight loss journey! Me! Someone who is blaming everything on the fact that being diabetic is contributing to my weight gain. That being diabetic makes it even harder to lose weight. (It -is- true though…) That for all these years, I’ve blamed it on being diabetic and my crazy insulin intake, the lows, having to drink juice all the time… And I’ve lost more weight in two weeks than I have in about 10 months.

I can do this. Today, I’ve realized that yes, I can do this!

And I’ve got to keep that line going downwards!

5 likes and dislikes about being a diabetic mom!

A fellow blogger suggested I make this post after the 5 likes and dislikes about being a mom. Great idea! And I’m sure other diabetic moms out there will be able to relate! If you’re diabetic and don’t have kids, here’s what you can be expecting later in life about being a mommy!

5 likes:

  1. Healthy lifestyle! Having a baby gave me a great reason to take (better) care of my diabetes. I need to be as healthy as I can to be there for him later in life!;
  2. Are you a couch potato? Not anymore! Running after your toddler will have your BG drop often! At least in -my- case…;
  3. Healthy foods! Watch those carbs, eat more vegetables! Before being diabetic, I would eat anything, really. And Probably would give Aaden a “HappyMeal” much more often. Now that I know what foods can actually do to him, because of what I’ve learned as a diabetic, Aaden has a healthy lifestyle!;
  4. Amazing snacks! Seriously. When I’m low, I tend to look for anything high in carbs. Now, I tend to grab snacks I buy for Aaden, which in turn are pretty delicious and healthier!;
  5. A reason -never- to give up. Sometimes, as most diabetics will feel, I get really bummed out. Angry at life for giving me this disease. Not getting up in the morning sounds like a great idea… But when you hear your child babbling in his crib in the morning, laugh with you during the day and fall asleep in your arms at night, you’ve truly have found a reason to never, ever give up.

5 dislikes:

  1. Hypoglycemias. On their own, they are manageable. With a screaming kid clamped to your leg, it’s extremely infuriating;
  2. Pump users, warning! Aaden thinks the transparent tube that sometimes is dangling out of my pants is an amazing toy and tends to yank on it often;
  3. Dangerous wandering test strips. Sometimes I don’t realize it but I’ve dropped a used test strip on the floor. Aaden likes to taste everything that’s on the floor. Yeah, you know where I’m going with that;
  4. The fear that he might become diabetic. Sure, anyone could become type 1 or type 2. But being diabetic, your child has even more chances. I really wish Aaden to stay healthy, always.
  5. Pregnancy. I hated my pregnancy. The whole thing. Gaining 62 lbs, having to take 50 units for breakfast instead of 6, constantly having to readjust my insulin intake because of continuously raging hormones… Not cool!

What about you? If your a diabetic mom, I’d love to hear your thoughts! If you’re not a mom yet, what are your fears and expectations?

Raspberries on the cheek!

Low carbs Twist on Cannelloni!

I’ve recently discovered that I can cook. With the right instructions and motivation, I can actually kick some butt in my kitchen. Now, people who don’t know me should know that I’ve never liked cooking in my entire life. The whole 30 years I’ve been on this planet, I have not found any passion for cooking, until now.

After I joined Weight Watchers, I started looking for recipes on the website. And that’s when I realized I was good at cooking and that I thrived on eating healthy, but most importantly, wanted to teach my son how to eat healthy.

Aaden loves pastas. The more spagetti on his plate, the better. So I started looking for alternative and found this amazing recipe! Behold on Beware, Weight Watchers’ Eggplant Rollatini with Tomato-Basil Sauce!

My cutting station is pretty small, but I got everything working!

I actually burnt my first batch... Make sure the eggplant slices are thick!

Out of the oven and ready to be devoured!

This recipe is Aaden Approved!

 

I wasn’t sure about the carbs since the WW system work on points, but I figured around 15 grams. My BG 2 hours after diner? 6.1! (109.8mg!) Is this one of my favourites now? Oh yes it is! And I will definitely make it again for my husband when he comes back!

The insulin-less morrow.

Hey there fellow bloggers and trusty readers!

After my post from last night, I wanted to leave you with an update before I leave for the weekend and not lead you into thinking I might have been seriously hurt from the lack of insulin! To my surprise, I actually woke up with a reading of 5.4 mmol! (That’s a 97.2mg). Doesn’t stop the fact that I could have side effects from not having insulin in my body for a long period of time (I suspect the head ache I have is related). But when I woke up I had an e-mail from a concerned follower and blogger. I don’t know if he wants to remain anonymous so I will only be linking back if he allows it! (And he did! Thanks Scott E.!Not so anonymous anymore! Haha!) And, even though I realized some few things that I should have done instead of just going to bed like that, without insulin for most of the night, it made me feel good! To know that there are people out there with and without the same disease and they care enough to send me a warning message, to be safe, tips on how to act during that period… Things I would have followed if I hadn’t read this email this morning but last night, when he sent it!

No, instead of checking my e-mails, I read The hunger games (Almost done the first book) to keep my mind off of the situation. Was I just evading it? Trying to ignore it instead of taking action? I know for a fact that If my husband would be there, he would have run out in the search for a 24 hours drug store! but he’s at work and I’m alone with Aaden and the last thing I wanted to do was to wake him up, dress him and go look for a store, then have to constantly wake him up by going in and out of the car… I should put my health first, I know, but sometimes I don’t think rationally!

Anyways, I’m fine, and yes don’t worry, I’m getting ready to go out and grab that insulin vial before I get ready and leave for the weekend! I’ll be fine though, and I’ll be back!

Read you soon!

~Valerie Anne

5 likes and 5 dislikes about being a mom!

I couldn’t start with saying “5 things I love and 5 things I Hate about being a mom, because hate is a big word and a no-no in the parenting dictionary. To me anyways. So I am going to list 5 things I love and dislike about being a mother!

5 things I love:

  1. My son’s smile. It has the power to instantly kill the anger/impatience inside of me. It’s that amazing!
  2. Learn to be a new, better person. My son brought me all those new, great qualities, such as patience and more mature. Thanks Aaden!
  3. I am more active! There’s no way mister Aaden will allow me to sit on the couch for more than 15 minutes at a time! He needs to be entertained!
  4. Seeing my son’s progress. It’s amazing to see how quickly he learns simple things like getting off the couch without hurting himself, how to mimic  fish or a pig, hold his own bottle!
  5. The unconditional love coming from this small being who is part of me. A random hug, a cling to my leg when he feels lonely or hurt himself. He knows I’m his mommy and that’s the best feeling to me!

5 things I dislike:

  1. Changing Diapers. Tons of diapers. And my son fights whenever he needs to be changed. Poop. Everywhere. (Sorry for the graphics!)
  2. You pick things up, within a 5 minutes range they are all back on the floor. Toys, clothes, more toys. Everywhere.
  3. Constantly worrying. What’s this bump from? Is this a rash? Is it bad? Is he hurt? Why is he crying? Is he hungry? Did I feed him enough? And the list goes on…
  4. Sleep with one eye opened. I know this will happen even when he’s 16. I can’t stop it, it just happens! Wake up in the middle of the night, he’s not crying, but just in case…
  5. Losing friends. Some people can’t deal with you being a parent, so they slowly become distant. They’re not ready to hang out with you and have their conversations cut off multiple times because I need to take Aaden away from the heater, away from the video games “Don’t do this, Don’t touch that!” And the random crying for lack of attention.

I’ll soon make a new entry about things I like and dislike about being a Diabetic parent. Because yes, there ARE things I like about being a diabetic parent!

What’s your likes and dislikes?

 
This following video I made a while back and Aaden was about 9 months old and younger.

That crazy thing called parenting.

I’ve found in the past 14 months (Minus 4 days) that nothing could prepare me for what parenting is like. There are NO books, NO videos, NO magazines and absolutely NO person that can actually shape you into a parent. It just happens.

Oh sure, I’ve read books during my pregnancy to prepare me for my labour, had pre natal classes, read on what to feed my son when he’s 5 months old… Little did these books know, I would only follow a few steps of what they were teaching.

My labour turned out nothing like in the books; I didn’t breath like they were saying, I didn’t follow any kind of measures they wanted me to take. Well, I couldn’t walk much because they had a heartbeat thing attached to my skin so they could follow Aaden’s heartbeat through my contractions. The Anaesthetist that gave me my epidural missed 4 times and so I felt most of everything. I was induced because of Diabetes, at 38 weeks. My labour was only 4 hours and a half. 30 minutes of which I was under the epidural’s half effectiveness.

When came the time to breastfeed, my hormones refused to produce any milk at all, so Aaden was put on formula very soon. I knew nothing about formula as I thought I would have been breastfeeding the whole time. And from then, my son gave me the best gift ever; Patience. Fellow blogger JourneyIntoType1 confirmed this to me as her children taught her the same, as I was reading in her blog.

The toughest thing about parenting I think is doing most of it alone. My husband (who is the most wonderful man in the world, no joke!) works in different provinces so I am left with Aaden 24/7 for periods going from 3 weeks two 2 months at a time. At first, I had help from some people, but life happens and, believe me, I found out that having kids creates new friends, but you also lose a few in the process. Even those you think you would not lose. They are not ready to see you as a mother. They prefer going out rather than hanging out with you just for a cup of tea. They don’t want this family life thrown into their faces too, so they quit you. You become another person, a responsible, set on a constant schedule, new person. And you learn to do things on your own, without having the help of others.

My parents will always be there for me, that I know. (Well, not my mother as she passed away in 2008, though I know that her and my sister are watching me from up there.) But I cannot count on any other person other than them, My husband and one or two friends.

That crazy thing called parenting isn’t only about parenting alone, I found. It’s about rediscovering yourself. Learning about your weakness and your strengths, gaining skills and becoming this role model for a tiny little you.

Today, I am grateful for my son. He came into this world and at only 14 months old, taught me so much more than I thought I could ever learn. Patience, responsibilities, having purpose, becoming a bodyguard, nurse, teacher and mother at the same time, but most of all, I discovered true love because of him. This unconditional love, even if he doesn’t listen to me, even if he keeps throwing his food on the ground at meal times, even if he is grumpy, or even when he wakes me up at night. I love him, for everything that he is, and I can thank him today for blessing my world with his being.

And all that, while being a type 1 diabetic. I will fight diabetes on a daily basis even more than before, because I want to be here for him, always.

[/End of emotional parenting rant.]

Aaden and I, on his birth day

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