Living life as a Type 1 Diabetic.

Surprise, Surprise…

Sometimes you feel like a failure. You think “Maybe I’m just meant to fail.” like everything you do turns to dust, never to gold. You never finish what you’ve started. Sometimes, you just have the wrong mindset.

It’s hard to get out of a mindset where everything seems to be falling apart. Everything around you is evolving quickly and you’re standing there, in the dark, with nowhere to go. I think it just takes one tiny thing to get out of this state and resume being you.

I was fairly happy last week, but not so about my performance with weight loss. Tracked my point system, but ate a lot of junk food. Drank more wine than I should’ve, didn’t move as much as I could. So I wasn’t expecting much with the scale, rather a gain than a loss. But, I still hopped on the scale this morning. Dreading it, loathing it, loathing myself. “I could’ve done better. And I didn’t.

That was my mindset.

But when sometimes you think you’re doing it wrong, for this and that reason, something works out for you anyways. And for that reason, I have lost 3 other pounds. 202 lbs. Huh!

All of a sudden,  my mindset changed. When I was seeing black, now I see positively. I realized that even though I didn’t do what I should’ve done, I have done what I could, and not worse. Because I could’ve ate junk all week, but I didn’t. Because I could’ve stayed at my computer all week, but I still played with my son and walked outside.

So sometimes, you might be discouraged, feeling blue, unworthy… All you need is a little tiny thing that’ll make you smile, and you keep on going.

Like every other things in life.

Silly things make me smile. You?


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7 thoughts on “Surprise, Surprise…

  1. Silly things make me smile too 🙂

  2. Those last two paragraphs are so important to recognize…. even if you had lost those three pounds. But you should be proud of your accomplishment.

  3. Karen on said:

    congrats, well done. When I saw your heading, I laughed, immediately thought…pregnant. Seriously, way to go, you are taking control of your life and enjoying it at the same time. What more can we ask for.

    My husband and son are also playing online games, testing a new one, but not the one that you were talking about..I think they holed themselves in the office for two days straight..They are hooked and can’t wait for the release- i think mid May. Then i may have to disconnect the internet cable for a while.

    Good luck this week and hope your move is successful.

    My sugars this past week – omg…what happened. hit a 28, never have i done was a real rollor coaster ride last week, up down, up down with no rhyme or reason. Weighed in last week, down 2.4, will see this Wednesday. Like you, I dread that scale at times.



    • OMG. Being pregnant would sabotage my weight loss for sure. And my daily life LOL. I’d be happy, trust me, but really isn’t the time right now… So phew!

      Your husband and son, would they be playing Tera by chance? It’s one other game where it’s all hype and craziness in the gamer community. Unhooking the internet cable.. Haha!! Only a mom can do that and get away with it 😉

      28?! Ouch! You must have felt really sick physically.Do you know what caused it?

      I’m glad you are still losing weight, too! Good for you! Keep your chin up and doing what you do, it’s working!

      • Karen on said:

        I think it is Diablo 3 that they are both hyped about. just checked my son’s facebook page and that looks like it. Isn’t it great that my kids have me as friends on their sites..(don’t foget they are 21 and 19.

        My sugars, have no idea, ate the same as i did before, took the same amount of insulin as before, made sure my carb to insulin ratio was correct. So who knows. I was feeling really funny, not what I would characterize to feeling high, but then with the following low and then high again, it made me feel like a bag of *(&*. Stressed me out and I think I had a minor panic attack, but now things have gotten back to semi normal.

        I hate it when i can’t explain the highs, especially when I am eating well, lower carbs and less fat. It will be a question when I see my endo next time.


  4. Pingback: Around the Diabetes Blogosphere — May Edition : DiabetesMine: the all things diabetes blog

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