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DiabeticallyYours

Living life as a Type 1 Diabetic.

Archive for the month “April, 2012”

The power of an Aquarium.

When you have kids, you know rechargeable batteries are a necessity in your life. If you don’t have kids, find wisdom in my words.

My son is 15 months old. Old enough to sleep though the night. Unless something’s wrong, Aaden hardly ever needs any comfort from me if ever he wakes up in the middle of the night. He’s able to go back to sleep on his own, and mommy stays in bed, going back to sleep. Oh, I -do- wake up when he does, I think it’s mommy instincts. But I don’t get out of bed unless I have to. Sleep is precious, especially for diabetics. But that’s another topic. Right now, I want to teach you talk to you about the importance of having recharged batteries at all times.

See, my son has this wonderful aquarium in his crib that helps him fall asleep and with which he plays at night if ever he wakes up, and eventually falls back asleep. But around midnight, the batteries started to fail us. And no more were they. And it takes 4 size “C” batteries to make this thing work, so they are not rechargeable quickly. It takes about 5 to 6  hours to have a full charge. And so last night, I went from changing his diaper, to rocking him, to soothing him, to giving him a bottle, to sleep on the couch with him so not to disturb my husband, to go to bed with him because it was -not- comfortable on the couch… I even tried putting on the TV, but mister Aaden was wide awake. Maybe because it was 2:30am by that time. Then he wanted to play.

He finally fell asleep around 3:30am, after I put his playlist on my iPod and let it play in his room. Thank you Wonder Pets and Backyardigans.

If I had batteries charged, none of that would have happened. I would have stayed in bed, he would have played with his aquarium, and we both would have fallen asleep without a fuss.

It’s not been long since I stopped feeding him at night, when he was only a tiny little thing, and I had to get up every 2 to 3 hours to feed him. I was tired then, but this morning is another kind of tired. You forget so quickly those sleepless nights with an infant, and get used so quickly to sleeping through the night, that every minute of sleep is appreciated. And sometimes, taken for granted.

So, moral of the story is; keep charged batteries at all times. You might get to sleep an extra four hours.

 

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Weight-loss journey: Weight-in #5

I woke up this morning dreading the scale to begin with.

This week, I had worked out maybe twice, walked a bit every day, packed a little for the move and ate junk food one day. I mean, REAL junk food. Whoever visited Quebec once in their life probably tasted the most delicious junk food ever; Poutine (Pronounced put-sin). And I’m not talking about what the rest of Canada claims as Poutine, but real, french canadian, grease induced, sodium praised, Poutine. And it was delicious. I had a downfall. And I blame this on raging hormones that happens once a month, where my blood sugar goes whack one week and keep me low the other. With it comes cravings of the most intense levels. And I couldn’t resist.

So, recap; little physical activities, big eating.

I still followed my Points allowance though.

So I stepped on the scale expecting a weight gain, thinking about the worst where I would gain back all the weight I had lost in one week. But with it all, I’ve still managed to lose a pound. Two-O-Four read the scale. So that means I’ve lost a total of 12lbs so far. Come to think of it, that’s a pretty good amount. I’m SO close to being back in the 100’s and even closer to my Weight Watcher’s 1st goal weight.

All in all, not bad! But I will put in much more work this week, for sure. If my body is saying “Go on, lose some!” I’m gonna work it! Especially since half the house still needs packing before the move… I have a long ways to go!

Diabetes and memory loss.

I had a half day off from being a mommy and wife yesterday as I took the road to my endocrinologist’s. Sunny day, sunglasses, lounge music… Driving an hour to go shopping and another hour to my appointment. (My endo is far away because I moved last year but kept her.) I left my son with my husband and, for the first time in a while, had some time to myself, for myself.

I spent about 45 minutes in my favourite book store. It felt good.

I was happy to see my endo and she was happy about my results and seeing the iBGStar in action, live, for the first time. She knew about it but never really had seen one in person, so going through my stats and multiple sections was fun for her. I could tell by the glint in her eyes. You know, like when you have something shiny in your hands. But I digress.

I remembered a small conversation I had with Leah about high BG and memory loss, so I asked my endo about it. And here’s what she told me.

High blood sugar and confusion come together. Just like low blood sugar’s confusion state, but in a less drastic way. However, high blood sugar is not linked to dementia or memory loss. Long term, low blood sugar is. And by long term, she said “Frequent low blood sugar over the lapse of 10, 15 years or more”. Your brain needs sugar in order to feed itself, and so the constant low level of sugar in your blood can lead to brain damage that cause memory loss, dementia and all those nasty things. She also said that this study was done on type 2 diabetics on insulin treatment and that type 1 diabetics did not have such a study. Because type 1 is rare and that type 2 has become an epidemic, they have not bothered to conduct the study within type 1s.

I’m assuming it’s the same, if not worse, with type 1s.

So there you have it. Low blood sugar can cause damage to your memory, as studies show. Hence why it’s so important to take care of your diabetes.

Oh, and my latest A1C? 6.2! Awesome!

Tiny post, big impact.

What’s YOUR reason?

 

Children’s mighty strength, parent’s broken heart.

When I went for blood tests last friday, the hospital was jammed pack. Mostly with old people and pregnant women as usual. I don’t stay very long or wait for my name to be called because of type 1 diabetes. When I am fasting for 12 hours, I get the privilege of cutting through the line and have my blood drawn as quickly as possible. I do get mean looks though. “Why is she going through? Isn’t she going to pick a number? They let her in and I’ve been waiting for 30 minutes!” I know that’s what they are thinking because if I wasn’t type 1 diabetic and know about my condition, I would probably think the same if I would see someone “healthy” cutting through the line.

“Sorry, my pancreas is busted. For life. I get priority.”

Sometimes, there’s a line and I need to wait behind other people while we wait, and I remember one time, clearly. While my mother was still alive, she would go with me every single time. I was old enough to drive and go by myself, but she would insist on driving me and be by my side. And one time as we were waiting in line, there were people talking in front of us saying how “Blood tests every two weeks is soooo much stress” and my mother would say something along the lines of “Well my daughter has at least 5 injections per day. For life.” The people would look at me and turn around, their conversations cut dry. Of course, my mother didn’t want to insult them, or even make it awkward for me to stand there, all eyes on me, wondering why I had to use needles 5 times a day.

And I remember my diagnosis, my mother crying next to me, seeing her as white as snow when they had to draw blood from me for several tests. No, not tiny vials, big jars. I had never seen this much blood drawn from a single person in my life, and while I was fascinated that I could live without that much blood loss, my mother would wait outside my hospital room and cry, comforted by my newly diagnosed with Crohne’s disease roommate’s mother. And I would tell her not to cry, that I was lucky to have been diagnosed on time (With a BG of 42 mmol… or 756mg) and that I would live. You have to know that I lost a sister when I was 17 and so my mother was having a mental break down. Would she lose another child? Would she become childless and go insane?

Now that I am a mother, I know exactly what she was feeling.

So back to the blood tests. I was sitting down, waiting for the nurse to come to me and do her magic, when a mother walks in with what looked like a no more than 2 years old little girl, and about 5 years old little boy. They both look fine, so I assume the woman didn’t have any babysitter and had to get blood tests done. But then she tells the little boy to sit on the chair. And he looks scared. Not petrified, but scared enough that his face goes white really quickly, but he still manages to keep his cool. Then the mother asks him if he wants his little sister sitting next to him, “to help” she says. The mother looks as stressed as she can, but tries to keep cool for her children.

My nurse comes, I extend my arm, she does her magic, but my eyes are on the little boy.

A nurse goes to him and explains the purpose of the instruments she’s using. He knows, I can tell. He’s been there before. And while I’m thinking to myself “It doesn’t hurt, it just pinches a little” I still remember how I felt seeing a big needle and my own blood escaping my body. So my heart goes for him and I feel my eyes fill up with water because I am now imagining my son sitting in that chair.

The little boy starts to cry as the needle goes in and all I want to do is go over there and hug him tightly and tell his sister, his two years old sister, that she’s very brave to want to help her big brother. And I want to hug the mother and tell her she’s strong and that everything is going to be alright.

I hear the nurse tell the little boy “It’s okay to cry sweety, don’t be ashamed, when we’re hurt or scared, we cry, it’s totally normal.” And while she’s drawing blood from him, she’s talking to him telling him that he is strong, that he’s lucky to have a little sister that loves him so much, she helps him.

My blood tests are done, I get up, grab my backpack, put on my sweater, give one last look of empathy to the little boy and walk out the hospital. I don’t know if he was diabetic or if the blood tests were meant for something else, but now tears are falling down my cheeks because I am SO glad it wasn’t my son sitting in that chair.

And a father walks towards me, talking to his little boy, saying “You’re not gonna cry, right? Please promise me you won’t cry.” And my empathy is gone, in an instant, as they come by me and past. I hear the little boy say “I promise.” But I can feel the fear in his voice.

Children cry, it’s totally normal. But as the little boy cried, I felt the mother was even stronger than anyone in the room. And probably even stronger than the father who walked past me.

Weight loss journey: Weight-in #4

One month in the making. Have I made it to my goal of losing 20 pounds? Sadly, no. I found that it was very difficult, especially with diabetes, to keep away from the “points”… The Calories. With a low comes orange juice and snacks. Glucose tablets don’t work fast enough for me and cost much more than a pack of 8 juices in the end. I’m glad to have found out through the last weeks that having my husband around didn’t impact my food choices! When we ate out, I always had something healthy when usually I would be inclined to go to McD’s or have an A&W mama burger. Topped with their onion rings of course. And even though it smells delicious, I want to taste freshness, not grease indulged food. That, and Aaden is a big motivation as I don’t want to share a burger with him, so I pick something healthier like a cajun chicken wrap with two choices of salads.

I trained this week more than I did last week. Bob Harper killed my arms this week. And my knees have become weaker but that’s another problem that goes along the lines of my carpal tunnel syndrome waking me in the middle of the night despite the wrist brace. And sharp pains in my joints that I associate with possible arthritis. At 30. Awesome. Who wants to meet a girl who didn’t care about her body enough that at 30 she’s got the body of a 70 year old’s? Don’t look too far, you’re reading her blog!

Whoa there nellie, let’s not get -too- negative! Focus on the positive, right? That’s what I tell myself when I step on the scale lately. Last week was zero loss. This week; one pound. 205. Still a loss, I know, but it gets discouraging to see the scale glare at me with it’s digital numbers of hell. Of course it’s 11 pounds gone, and this actually marks 5% body weight, also gone! Something I should be celebrating. Why am I not happy with the number? Why do I keep stressing myself out?

I had a conversation yesterday with my husband as we were eating at our favourite vegetarian restaurant, and one subject became another and lead to him telling me that I am stressed all the time. I don’t enjoy (Or well don’t look like I am enjoying) my days. If something’s not done, like the dishes or laundry, I go into interior rage mode and fume from the inside. And I have to work on that. I want everything done in one day, and sometimes, I don’t realize that it’s at my son’s and husband’s cost. I need to find a moment and relax. Accept the fact that I am not a “supermom” or “super wife” and that I should take things lightly. Well, most things. I need to find a book that will somewhat teach me how to do those things. I need to chill out on several things; cleaning, moving, packing, daily chores, missing my family, losing a long time friend, accept major change… And never -ever- let my husband and son down. Those are the most important people in my life, the ones that matter most.

At least I’m aware of what I need to change, right? Step 1, denial… Step 2…

What is step 2 anyways?

This moment yesterday was one of the few where I just stopped doing everything I was doing and smiled. Enjoyed the fact that my son is the most wonderful thing to happen to me. Ever.

Versatile Blogger Award!

Emily from My Journey Through Thick and Thin nominated me for a versatile blogger award! Thank you! I’m glad to know that someone likes my blog enough to nominate it for something!

You can check out the Versatile blogger award info here and their rules over here.

So according to the rules, I now have to tell you 7 things about myself:

  1. I dislike feet. Aside from my own and my son’s, I cannot stand touching anyone else’s feet. And that includes my husband’s!
  2. I struggle with finishing what I’ve started. Drawings, writings, you name it.
  3. Along with number 2, I’m a big procrastinator and I have to work on this.
  4. I used to be a vegetarian! Then I got  pregnant and craved bacon so badly… Vegetarian no more.
  5. My first language is French, I learned English mostly by myself!
  6. I LOVE videos games. I have stopped playing because of my son.
  7. My husband is 8 years younger than me. We got married when he was 18!

Here are other great blogs for you to go read! In no particular order and all of various subjects!

  1. BucketListPublications
  2. RantingChef
  3. The Smart Woman’s Guide to Diabetes
  4. My Thin Eats
  5. Rainie and Me
  6. Sassie Annie
  7. Love Hate Diabetes
  8. College Veganista
  9. The Cherbie Life
  10. Rolling in the D
  11. Insulin Runner
  12. Matt Thomas
  13. 400 days ’til 40
  14. Dog Goes to College
  15. Chris Neighbors

Happy readings!

The blood test chronicles.

It might sound weird, but every 3 to 6 months, I am excited about my blood tests. It might be just a diabetic thing, but I’m thrilled to go to my endocrinologist’s to have my test results read to me. Partly because I love to know what my body has been up too from change to change. Especially now with my weight loss and my beautiful BG readings, I am expecting a nice A1C. My last one, 6 months ago, was of 6.7 and I wasn’t very thrilled with it. My BG was high very often and I wasn’t being very careful about it, mostly because Aaden was still very young and testing my BG was optional to me. I had other priorities, being alone with my son.

And so next week, I have an appointment with my endo, so I need to go for blood tests. Only if my body would cooperate.

I have been so active, eating so well, my blood sugars have been great! Only thing is that I have hypos during the night now. So, two nights ago, I needed to drink and eat in the middle of the night, so I couldn’t go for the blood tests since I need to be fasting for 12 hours. Last night, everything went well, but as I got up this morning and tested my BG, I saw 3.2 mmol on the meter (57.6mg). No way am I going to drive and hurry up to the hospital for blood tests with this reading. So tonight, I think my best option is to set my basal down on my insulin pump. 75% maybe. I have to get those done to have my results next week!

To think that before being a diabetic, I was scared of blood tests, scared of needles… And now my daily life has them around and I don’t even notice it. Crazy how you get used to things. And how people around you get used to those, too.

In other news, my husband learned that his step-father was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes this week. It is becoming an epidemic. Almost everyone has someone in their family with type 2 diabetes. Sometimes though, I wish they were type 1 so I could relate with others like me, in person.

Weight loss journey: weight-in #3

What a weekend! I hope everyone had a great easter! After I picked up my husband from the airport, we headed to our family’s the next morning for some quality time, but with lack of laptop comes no blog posts! I have a lot of catching up to do with reading and posting…

So let’s get down to business; the point of this post. My new weight-in! Third week into my weight loss journey and I’m feeling great! My blood sugar is “stable” (Occasional highs occurred, way less lows this week as well!), I’ve been in a good mood and I fit in one of my old pair of jeans! No, not the bigger ones, the smaller ones! Hah! I’ve lost a waist size! Quite ecstatic. And so, I weighted myself feeling pretty good about the number that would show on the scale. That, and my Weight Watchers goal of 5% weight loss will be reached at 201lb. Since I’ve been losing 5 pounds every weeks, I had a feeling I would have reached my goal!

And then I stepped on the scale. And I had no loss. And no gain. Still 206lbs. Disappointed? Yup. Definitely. But I was happy that I hadn’t gained any. I think that my body was telling me to put the breaks on, losing too much weight too fast maybe? One of the culprit of last week might have been the banana bread I’ve made and ate throughout the week with my son… Hmm. Most likely! But I also have to step it up a notch. And so, I’ve started to play The Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout game, on the Kinect. It’s actually quite fun! But a muscle killer, honestly! I couldn’t feel my thighs (Or should I say I felt them way too much) the next day I started the work out. I guess there are some muscle sI need to move, aside from the ones I use to walk or run, in order to lose more weight!

So this week, I have yet another challenge; my husband’s here until next job is announced. That means I have to resist the temptations that are bound to occur. I can do it though. I think!

Chocolate? Easter is amazing!!

The strength of a non diabetic husband.

I don’t mention my husband a lot in my blog, unless it’s to say that he’s working for my son and I really hard, gone weeks at a time. But I feel the need to take at least one blog post (this one) to brag talk about him.

His name is Aaron and he is Taiwanese. GASP. Interracial couple! No wonder why Aaden is so cute, right? Aaron is actually from the United States, Wisconsin to be exact. Me being from Canada, the french province of Quebec no less, makes you think “Oh, they’ve met online!” and you’re right. But we didn’t meet on a dating site nor FaceBook, we met on an online game called Guild Wars, being in the same guild, doing quests and missions together… Until out relationship grew, decided to meet offline and he bought a plane ticket to come see me. Then I decided to sponsor him as he moved here with me. Long and expensive process, but very worth it.

I want the world to know that I’m head over heels in love with this man. I want to shout how much I’m lucky to have him in my life. Through thick and thin he’s stuck with me; my mother’s cancer, her death, my depression after her passing, the process of getting my new insulin pump, my tough pregnancy with Aaden… Every step of the way, he had a shoulder for me to cry on, a smile to keep me going, a juice box for my lows to be fixed.  And then my father got him a life changing job that would require him to be gone weeks at a time, working on hydro dams, far off into the north in different provinces. He missed Aaden’s birth. He missed Aaden’s first steps, his first birthday… And even though he misses us (and we miss him) he is working his butt off for us. 7 days a week, 77 hours of work per week. To bring in the money for us to live well, for me to be able to enjoy my insulin pump and not go back to the horrid shots. My husband, through everything, has always had a smile for me, good words of encouragement, even when I would cry on Skype and he couldn’t hug me, comfort me, he in his own way would find a way to be able to anyway.

The fact that he is so in tuned with my diabetes shock me sometimes. I say “Juice.” and he knows I’m low. If I’m low, he knows the confusion and anger I’m projecting isn’t personal. He drops everything he’s doing in an instant and comes to my rescue, my hero in shining armour. When I had highs during my pregnancy and that I would spend sleepless nights, testing every hour to bring it down as quickly as possible, crying over the fact that I didn’t want to hurt Aaden as he was being created in my womb, he would sit next to me and tell me everything was going to be okay. When I cried when I got my pump because I thought my mother would be so proud of me, he held my hand and squeezed it gently, letting me know that he agreed in silence. When I would realize I almost had no insulin left in my vial, he would get dressed and go to the drug store in a heart beat. I would test, I’d see a 2.3mmol (41mg) and I’d tell him the number, he would run to the fridge to grab me a juice box. He’s not diabetic, but he understands the numbers. He learned, to be in tune with me. To understand me, and be part of my diabetic life.

Taken from Type 1 diabetes Meme Facebook page.

Did I mention that my husband is going to turn 23 in june? Young to have all this put on his shoulders, but he stuck with me, all these years. And I’m so very thankful for him.

Oh yeah, he is also coming back TODAY! For a few weeks before the has to go back. But not to worry, I will be blogging just the same.

Our wedding day, October 2008

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