That crazy thing called parenting.
I’ve found in the past 14 months (Minus 4 days) that nothing could prepare me for what parenting is like. There are NO books, NO videos, NO magazines and absolutely NO person that can actually shape you into a parent. It just happens.
Oh sure, I’ve read books during my pregnancy to prepare me for my labour, had pre natal classes, read on what to feed my son when he’s 5 months old… Little did these books know, I would only follow a few steps of what they were teaching.
My labour turned out nothing like in the books; I didn’t breath like they were saying, I didn’t follow any kind of measures they wanted me to take. Well, I couldn’t walk much because they had a heartbeat thing attached to my skin so they could follow Aaden’s heartbeat through my contractions. The Anaesthetist that gave me my epidural missed 4 times and so I felt most of everything. I was induced because of Diabetes, at 38 weeks. My labour was only 4 hours and a half. 30 minutes of which I was under the epidural’s half effectiveness.
When came the time to breastfeed, my hormones refused to produce any milk at all, so Aaden was put on formula very soon. I knew nothing about formula as I thought I would have been breastfeeding the whole time. And from then, my son gave me the best gift ever; Patience. Fellow blogger JourneyIntoType1 confirmed this to me as her children taught her the same, as I was reading in her blog.
The toughest thing about parenting I think is doing most of it alone. My husband (who is the most wonderful man in the world, no joke!) works in different provinces so I am left with Aaden 24/7 for periods going from 3 weeks two 2 months at a time. At first, I had help from some people, but life happens and, believe me, I found out that having kids creates new friends, but you also lose a few in the process. Even those you think you would not lose. They are not ready to see you as a mother. They prefer going out rather than hanging out with you just for a cup of tea. They don’t want this family life thrown into their faces too, so they quit you. You become another person, a responsible, set on a constant schedule, new person. And you learn to do things on your own, without having the help of others.
My parents will always be there for me, that I know. (Well, not my mother as she passed away in 2008, though I know that her and my sister are watching me from up there.) But I cannot count on any other person other than them, My husband and one or two friends.
That crazy thing called parenting isn’t only about parenting alone, I found. It’s about rediscovering yourself. Learning about your weakness and your strengths, gaining skills and becoming this role model for a tiny little you.
Today, I am grateful for my son. He came into this world and at only 14 months old, taught me so much more than I thought I could ever learn. Patience, responsibilities, having purpose, becoming a bodyguard, nurse, teacher and mother at the same time, but most of all, I discovered true love because of him. This unconditional love, even if he doesn’t listen to me, even if he keeps throwing his food on the ground at meal times, even if he is grumpy, or even when he wakes me up at night. I love him, for everything that he is, and I can thank him today for blessing my world with his being.
And all that, while being a type 1 diabetic. I will fight diabetes on a daily basis even more than before, because I want to be here for him, always.
[/End of emotional parenting rant.]